Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

Sometimes grief sits in the body, like you’re carrying all of the guilt of every lost moment and lost opportunity as weight that manifests as fatigue, a burden, a fog that sits on your mind like a tightening rag.

A conversation about COVID-19 vaccines and bodily autonomy

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on

A conversation I had on Mastodon about COVID-19 vaccinations:

Covid: Huge protests across Europe over new restrictions, yikes

At this point, vaccine mandates are just about control.

We don’t live in monarchies or dictatorships. People have a right to make their own choices about medical procedures. Let them make their choices and deal with the consequences.

COVID-19 isn’t going anywhere. The sooner we stop pretending it is, the sooner governments have to stop abusing their authority.

This is just the new PATRIOT act. Soon, they’ll want to track everyone’s movements 24/7. For safety.

We live in Europe and don’t have such a thing…

Like said, the government isn’t some monster or alien.. It’s people chosen by us.. Why is this an issue? It’s also the law you need to wear cloths in public right? Or is that also a first step to TOTAL control about every single aspect of your life..?

Sorry but I really don’t get this way of thinking. What do the vaccine and tracking people have to do with one and another? There’s microchips in the vaccine? Sats can track vacinated people? What?

The issue at stake is bodily autonomy. The State shouldn’t be able to force you to undergo a medical procedure that you don’t want.

Even if nothing else is in your control, you at least should have rights to your own flesh and blood. That’s not the same as putting on pants before going outside.

And the tracking is in the Vaccine Pass apps that are mentioned in the article that you shared. I see this as a first step towards governments normalizing this level of surveillance.

And with this precedent, what’s next? It’s ok to jail people who don’t get an annual flu shot? The State gets to say who is allowed to have children? That sounds absurd, but in the US, we fought that fight already.

The only business the government should have in healthcare is in providing access, not in demanding compliance.

A little follow-up:

The conversation ended there, but just to clarify one thing, in the US it has previously been illegal for those considered mentally handicapped to have children. It has also been illegal for mixed race couples to have children at different points in the past here.

When you let the government start dictating what medical procedures you must undergo to take part in essential activities (work, shopping, being in public spaces), you open a door for the government to take further liberties with that power. It sets a precedent.

Every time the government says it just wants to do one thing related to one group of people for a specified time, that’s never the end of the overreach of power. The US was founded on the principle of limited Federal government. All powers not specifically set forth in the Constitution are reserved to the States that make up the Republic. The government is going to constantly look for ways to accumulate more power.

That’s why there are constant calls for more regulations, restrictions on gun ownership, and demands for backdoors into encrypted communications networks. It’s about control. Controlling citizens. Anyone that’s been paying attention should know by this point that no matter who gets into office, it’s always more of the same. That’s why nothing meaningful gets done even when one party controls both chambers of Congress and the White House. That’s why money keeps getting dumped into pet projects instead of programs that would actually improve quality of life for average citizens. There’s the government and then there’s the rest of us.

Demanding on pain of job loss, homelessness, and starvation that citizens get vaccinations is unconstitutional and illegal. It’s also immoral. Demanding that children get a vaccine that has a higher rate of harm than the virus it protects against is evil.

RIP: Gummy Bear

Gummy Bear

About nine months ago or so, my wife found a dog that was waiting to die at a shelter. He was scheduled to be put down that day, because he was old, sick and wasn’t expected to live more than another two months anyway. She felt sorry for him and took him home, so his last few months of life could be spent somewhere comfortable, where he could have good food and companionship. It was obvious the dog had been mistreated and probably neglected in the past. He had weird habits. At night he wound run to the bathroom and hide behind the toilet. He stayed under the bed most of the time and only came out to eat.

Gummy Bear (we called him that because he had no teeth left) never stopped being weird, but he bulked up and became fairly healthy. He was still mostly blind and bumped into things regularly but his walking improved. He was with us for about nine months and then, just as I was coming home form a trip to Israel, he started having issues. When I got home, my wife was at work and Gummy Bear was under the bed, as usual. Before I’d even taken my coat off, I smelled urine and saw a puddle edging out from under the bed. He peed and laid down in it. I put him in the tub and cleaned everything up and then took him out for a walk. The next few days we woke up to the smell of urine coming from under the bed and then he started crapping blood both inside and outside the apartment.

Gummy Bear had tumors and maybe cancer and I guess old age finally caught up with him. So, we took him to animal control to have him put down today.

So long, pal. I guess I’ll just have to walk myself in the morning and evenings now.

They say not to drink the water but…

… I must have messed up, because I had some serious problems over the last two days.

We’ve had a lot of work going on around the house, including work we’ve been doing ourselves.  I’ve been pretty exhausted and getting sick on top of it really wore me out.

All of these things combined to create a disaster that ruined a bag full of noodles.  If you’re eating, you should save this for later.

So, it was early morning and there I was, sitting on the toilet having a problem.  After I was done, I had another problem.  The pipes are kinda screwy here so the toilet clogged. There’s no running water right now because of a drought so dumping water into the bowl is the only option. I couldn’t get it right so I just left it that way and passed out again.  That evening, I was in there trying to wash up and mess with the toilet at the same time when I felt an urge.

A serious urge.

With no toilet available (due to the damn thing still being clogged) I made a mad dash through the house, naked and covered with soap mind you, and grabbed the first plastic shopping bag I saw, which I assumed was hanging on a doorknob for placing garbage in.

I then ran back to the toilet and handled business.  It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve done.  I’ve utilized empty boxes in the middle of the desert in Iraq before, so why not?  Better than the other alternative.

So anyway, the next day my wife came and asked me if I’d seen the noodles she bought at the grocery store.  I said I hadn’t so we looked around quite a bit.  I’m pretty sure no one stole the noodles, though she does have hungry brothers that roam the house occasionally.

Then it dawned on me.

After I finished laughing like a hyena I felt bad because I had really wanted to try some of those noodles.  Not to mention my wife was pissed.  But you know… shit happens.

Damn Flying Pigs…

This past Friday I was excited about going to the mall to get something nice to eat and then shop around a bit.  My wife and I also had plans to go out and enjoy ourselves over the weekend.  Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

It was strange, really.  All day I felt fine.  Once I got to the mall though and walked inside I started to feel tired.  Then I realized my muscles all felt like they were aching.  So, I sat down and when I sat down I realized not only how tired I was, but that even my butt cheeks were aching.

We wound up not staying at the mall for very long.  I didn’t eat much either.  My appetite was disappearing.  By the time I got home, I really felt like crap.  In a short two hours I went from feeling fine to feeling like I’d been hit by a bus.

The next morning my wife took my temperature and I was running a fever at 38.4 C.  I wound up sleeping most of the day away.  In fact, I did a lot of sleeping from Friday evening through Monday afternoon.  On Saturday night my fever peaked at 39.4 and then started dropping.  By the end of Sunday it had fallen to 38.4 and then by Monday morning it was at 36.6.  It went up briefly to 38 again on Monday but it returned to normal in about an hour.

It doesn’t sound like much when I put it that way, as just a chronological list of temperatures, but those were some rough days.  Those are the types of fever temperatures that make it hard to sleep and make you think those weird thoughts while you’re laying there. If you’ve ever had a fever and your mind started to wander I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

I never did go to the hospital.  I’ve always been a stubborn idiot like that when it comes to being sick.  I hate hospitals.  I remember one year I was sick and dizzy and was still doing physical training in the morning and going to work because I just had too much to do.  Weird right?  Well, I also didn’t want to be bothered with going to the hospital just to be told that I had a cold or flu or something and I should just rest in bed, drink fluids, and take something for the fever and then get a huge bill for being told something I already knew.  I didn’t really have any clue as to what I had.  I just thought I had a regular cold or flu.

Anyhow, by Monday afternoon the fever was completely gone and I was fuzzy headed and exhausted but fine.  I wound up sleeping most of Monday away and didn’t get out of bed until 4pm.  After all that sleeping my brain was running on overdrive and I was catching up on internet stuff so I wasn’t able to sleep until 6 am or so and then I had to get up again at 9 am to make it to an appointment.  So, I wound up sleeping most of Teusday afternoon and evening away too.  It feels like the last 4 days just sort of slipped away from me.  I don’t even remember most of the days I was sick, since I had a fever or was sleeping the whole time.

So, how did I actually find out it was H1N1?  Well, I passed it off to someone I live with.  They went to the doctor right away and the doctor confirmed what it was.  They complained of the exact same symptoms: sudden muscle ache and fatigue, followed by fever.

Well, at least I don’t have to worry as much about H1N1 anymore.  I already have some antibodies ready for it for a while.  I’m still tired though.  I guess it’ll take a while for me to regain my strength.

(Image source)

Dapper Recovers; Thumper Gets Sick


A few days ago I posted about our cat Dapper getting spayed.  I mentioned at the end of the post that she came back with a cough.  I was planning on taking her to the vet, but my trip got put off.  Then, somehow, her cough started to clear up on its own overnight.  Perhaps the whole thing was related to her surgery.

So, I’m glad to report that Dapper is feeling much better now.  It’s been about a week and a half since she was spayed and she seems to be back to her old self.  In fact, she seems even more active and happy than before.  I think going into heat over and over was driving her crazy.  My wife and I were talking about it earlier tonight, and Dapper seems a lot more affectionate.  It’s as if she’s a kitten again.

She has also started meowing again, which is nice.  She was a very vocal cat and I missed it.  Her meow does seem a bit huskier now, but that’s fine.  I’m just glad to see she’s recovering.  All that’s left for her, it seems, is to grow back the hair on her belly where it was shaved for the surgery.  It looks a little funny.


So, what now!?  It seems like it’s one thing after another with our cats.  Now that Dapper is well again, Thumper seems to have taken ill.  He’s been listless, sleepy, and he’s running a fever.  I wonder if he caught something from Dapper?  It’s possible that Dapper picked up a virus from the cats she came in contact with at the vet and brought it home with her, and that Thumper picked it up from her.

The fever isn’t too high, so we’re keeping him home.  I’ve been making sure he drinks water and eats… even if he doesn’t want to.  I think he’s pissed at me now, but thanks to my efforts he’s more active and aware and seems to be getting better.  We also bought some wet food to tempt him into eating, and he gobbled down quite a bit of it, complemented with more dry food, before going back to sleep.

Hopefully he’ll feel better in the morning!  Oh, and it’s quite an interesting experience to stick a thermometer in a cat’s butt.