I haven’t really posted much or regularly for quite a while and I think it’s not so much for lack of interest, but lack of time and that spark of creativity. Working full time, long commutes, and trying to do errands and fulfill other responsibilities on the weekends is time consuming and draining and it doesn’t do much for creativity. Plus, the last five years or so have been pretty tough with family members and pets passing away. I feel like I’ve spent more time distracting myself than engaging with anything creative or meaningful. I haven’t even gone to the museum in what feels like and probably is years.
This has been an especially weird year for me. I barely did any reading this year, instead turning to podcasts and watching the news. I became obsessed with watching every press briefing, watching Congressional proceedings, and then listening to podcasters talk about the same things that I’d just watched or listened to myself.
As the year wore on, I started to find myself wanting to disengage, so I put away the political podcasts and turned off the news and eased myself back into reading again with Brandon Sanderson’s Skyward series. I wound up rolling through all of those books in about two weeks. It sparked my interest. I guess it sparked joy. I moved right on to Old Man’s War, by John Scalzi, which is the start of another series that I’m currently devouring. It’s also scifi, but it’s a different tone and flavor from Skyward. More mature I guess. The tone of it is like watching old war movies from the 70s.
I spent a lot of the last few years trying to read books for education, personal enrichment, and growth. I burned out on those genres. I realized that when I forced myself to finish Kokoro by Beth Kempton. It wasn’t the right book at the right time for me, even though I think it was overall not a bad read. I’m going to spend the rest of the year glutting on scifi and fantasy books to scratch that itch that got me interested in reading in the first place when I was a teenager. Then I’ll flirt with the heavier stuff again. I guess I just want to stop pushing so hard at things that are serious and try to enjoy life too.
I dumped Threads. The site is being overrun by bots and trash posts that are more attention seeking than informative. Beyond that, it’s a cesspool that was bringing out the worst in me. I’d read a few posts by people talking about how social media was making them feel. Enraged essentially. And I knew intellectually that algorithms on social media platforms are designed to push for engagement, and what’s better at getting people to engage than something that pisses them off? I don’t need that. I’m getting older. I don’t want to waste my time arguing pointless arguments on the internet with people that don’t mean anything to me. I’d rather do things I enjoy and look at things I enjoy. So now I’m down to Facebook (for family), Instagram (for the LOLs), and Reddit (for topic based engagement).
Flipping through Reddit, I noticed that a lot of posts from the Apple page are people joyously announcing that they bought a new Apple device. It feels like they’re buying the device more to feel a sense of inclusion in something rather than because they appreciate the device for what it is. Like people have a desperate desire to feel a sense of belonging and place. I feel like it’s a need that people used to fill with religion, but religion doesn’t do a good job of meeting people’s spiritual needs anymore. Not Western religion anyway, perhaps because of the insistence on faith over reason and perhaps because of the movement that tried to push the idea of biblical inerrancy in the US, rather than recognzing the Bible for what it is: a collection of stories by various authors at various times and places trying to explain the unexplainable. I’ve spent a good amount of time reading about different religions and all of them have flaws, but I thnk it’s important that people are able to committ to something that acknowledges that there is something greater than themselves, something that can provide meaning and context to our lives. I’m still searching and thinking.
Summer is basically on its way out the door. I missed most of it. I spent most of my weekends this summer at home recuperating from the work week. I wanted to go out and ride my bike more this summer. I just couldn’t muster up the will to do it, even though I knew it would be fun. I don’t know what that’s about. Just fatigue I guess? Or maybe I need to work more at prioritizing what I enjoy. Maybe I’ll find a way to work it into my schedule so that I can make a habit of it, for exercise purposes. Even when it gets cold. I have some cold weather workout clothes, if they still fit!
I got a promotion and a few raises this year at work so that’s pretty good, and worth noting. I actually enjoy going to this job. I don’t dread waking up to go to work. That’s winning. The pay is almost up to what I feel like it should be to do what I do, and in a few years I’ll be comfortable there too.
All in all, 2025 has been pretty good to me, especially in light of the last 5 years. I feel like I’m starting to come out of a rut. I’m also excited for Fall and hoping the end of 2025 has that cheerful spirit that seems to have been lacking lately.
Bradley's Old Fashioned Weblog 