Cream Cheese and Monkeys

This is just a funny conversation I had this morning that I thought I’d share.

I went downstairs to make a small breakfast and the house maid was washing some dishes.

I dug around in the fridge a bit, looking for the Philadelphia Cream Cheese.  I held up a cup and said, what’s this?  “Bangus juice”, she replied.  I paused.  I knew I had misheard her, because bangus is a fish and whatever was in the cup smelled slightly tangy.  I set it on the counter.  I’d put it away when I packed the cream choose cheese back into its corner.

So, we started talking about Philadelphia Cream Cheese.  She’d never had any before I let her try some a few weeks ago.  The stuff is delicious!  I need to go search around for some bagels.  It’s great on bread, but it’s not really complete with the bagels!

As I put things back in the fridge I asked her again what was in the cup and this time it sounded like she said ‘burt juice‘.

“Butt juice?”  I asked.  She started laughing and went out on the balcony and came back with a can.  Finally I understood.  The can had a depiction of birds on it.  What she had been trying to tell me was ‘bird juice‘.

So, she said “You know of the bird spit?”

“Uh, what?”

“Yes, the spit from the mouth of the bird.  Chinese think is very delicacy, and it is very expensive and rare.”

I started imagining how many birds would have to be milked for saliva to fill a can that size and then I realized how disgusting the whole thing was.

“I think I’d rather eat chilled monkey brains than drink bird spit.”

“Oh!  You’ve tasted of the monkey!?” she asked.

I pretended I wasn’t surprised at all.

She went to the fridge and came back with a tupperware which she opened.  I peered in and there were four little cakes inside.

“This is the monkey?” I asked.

“No… this is mooncake.” she replied.  So, I pretended I was only kidding, because I seriously thought it was monkey cake or some other weird thing.  When you’ve got a cup full of bird spit in the fridge, why not?

She insisted I try one, and it’s sitting here on a plate next to me.  I hope it’s good!